Use Me To Use You
by JacktheSinister JaketheJust
Summary: When they made this deal it was meant to be kept impersonal. How is it that even the smallest things make their deal strained and harder to keep up the guidelines and rules?


**Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this fic. I do own the plot and the serious writers block that brought this fic about. This was written for my pleasure and the pleasure of those reading it, not for profit.**

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Use Me To Use You**_

The sound of wet skin slapping against wet skin echoed in the dark room. The stench of masculinity and sex hung in the air, filling the nooks and crannies of the room. Nothing broke the silence but grunts and heavy breathing.

I know how his body feels. I know what he likes. I know what he wants and I honor that. Like every other night, I'm in his bed in his hotel room, behind him, grabbing his hips like a mad man, fucking him for all he's worth. I would be lying if I said I didn't like it. I'm here because he's asked me to do it. I don't question it, I just go along with his wishes, after all, he's not the only one that wants it.

He feels so good. He's so tight around me. His voice his like an angels'. His porcelain skin always glows in the moonlight that almost always surrounds us, inevitably because we forget to shut the curtains, even if we are on the bottom floor. He wants this, I tell myself this every night while I'm outside his room. I stand there, looking at the slightly ajar door, knowing that he leaves it open for me. He wants it like this every night; fast, hard, and rough.

I wish I knew why. I would be gentle with him if he wanted me to be. I could hold him close to me to make our bodies closer. I could turn him over so our eyes could meet and our lips could touch but he doesn't want it and I know that. I don't force it. I don't bring it up. I don't even ask.

He wants it this way. That's the deal.

I use him. I completely dominate him. I come in after everyone is asleep and sneak into his room, climb in his bed, turn him onto his belly with his cute little ass in the air, shove myself inside his delicious body, and fuck him senseless. I'm nothing to him, nothing but a fuck buddy. We've worked together, we've been in the ring before, shared the same hotel room before but no words are exchanges between us. I don't talk to him and he doesn't talk to me. We don't say a word while I'm in his room. It's part of our deal.

He's clutching the headboard, his knuckles white as I thrust into him harder and harder. God, he feels so fucking good. He's gasping for air, his hips slamming back to meet mine. His legs are shaking showing his so close.

I want to touch him, help him finish like I used to but now he pushes me away, telling me that this is part of an arraignment, there are no feelings and since it's not personal I shouldn't do that for him. I lean over his back, something else that I'm not supposed to do and nibble on his ear, the little yelp of pleasure sending zings of excitement through my body.

His body tightens around me and I know that's he finished as the sheets under us become soiled. He pants hard afterwards, his upper half drooping into the pillows, his hands resting against the headboard.

I've tried being gentle with him afterwards, let him have a second to relax after his mind shattering orgasm. I've tried to hold him close but that's too personal. It's not part of our deal.

He's laying there, gasping for breath as I pound into him, sweat pouring down my body. He's so tight after he finishes. He shivers with his post orgasmic pleasure, sometimes looking back at me with his wonton, glazed over chocolate eyes. Sometimes he growls out and holds himself up to endure my pounding into his little form.

I smile, his hips still in the air while I'm still leaning over his back, my head pressed into the crook of his neck. I know he'll tell me later that this makes our meeting more personal than it should be but that's the last thing on my mind. I press a kiss to his neck, something that we've never done. Our lips have never touched the others or any part of the other's body. This is our first kiss and besides the manly scent, that drives me wild, and sweat on his skin, he tasted sweet.

He groans, his nails dragging down the wood of the headboard. "Jack," he whimpers, ready to warn me that such a kiss was too personal, too loving between us and that it's not part of our deal. He looks back at me, our lips just centimeters apart.

I can see in his glazed look that he's about to stop our session of sex and tell me this but my smile sticks and I press our lips together just as the pressure that had been building in my belly broke and I was filling him with my seed. I've been thinking about our deal and even though it's just sex, I want more. Evan's body is great but I want to know more about him, at least hold his body to mine, kiss his lips while we're fucking.

He groans in my mouth, his tongue rushing from inside his mouth into mine, battling me for dominance. His hands are clutching my shoulders as he pulls away and maneuvers so he's flat on his back, his legs around mine. One of his hands tugs my blond hair, his hips lifting up into mine, making both of us gasp in surprise at the delightful pleasure.

I pin his hands above him, and attack his neck, licking and sucking at every bit of skin I can get my mouth on, only causing him to moan louder and thrust into me harder. I smile, nibbling on a collarbone noticing that he's hard again. I know that it's only once a night, part of the deal, but I'm willing to get him off again.

His hands clutch my shoulders again, my lips engulfing a stiff, pink nipple, my tongue running over it lightly. He's whimpering, unfathomable words falling from his lips lightly. "Jack," he murmured, crying out when my lips moved over to the other nipple. "Please…."

I smile, leaving open-mouthed kisses down his flat stomach to his neatly trimmed brown pubic hair, my fingers trailing down his silky sides before resting on his small hips. My blue eyes look up into his chocolate ones and I smile at his worried look as my lips move even farther down. "I'll take care of you," I whisper, taking him into my mouth and sucking him gently. I'm going to show him that even though he doesn't want a connection between us, it doesn't have to be so rough. I can be gentle with him and still keep my distance.

"Jack," Evan whimpers, his fingers tangling in my hair as his hips thrust upwards slightly, my hands keeping them pretty much in place. He doesn't let his eyes shut or stray from mine. He holds my gaze, his dark ones flickering with emotions he'd never shown me before.

I try not to get lost in his deep eyes, that seem to suck me in as I suck him, my hands gently holding him down. I groan around him, his hands gently running through my hair.

"Dammit Jack, stop," he snapped, pulling away from me and covering himself with the soiled sheets. "Get out." He turns away from me, covering his face with a hand.

"Evan," I whisper, completely confused. I thought that something gentle would be a nice change, sure it wasn't part of the deal but wouldn't he get tired of me pounding into him every night then leaving without a word? "What did I do wrong?"

"This isn't part of our deal Jack. Please, just stick to it or don't come back," he murmured, his voice shaky. "This kissing thing, or sucking me off is too personal."

I sighed, getting up and getting my clothes. I pulled on my underwear and jeans, zipping them quickly. I look back at Evan, wanting to talk to him, tell him that no matter what kind of sex our deal had it was going to be personal. If he didn't think that I wasn't going to start to feel anything he picked the wrong man to ask for this kind of thing. I turned, grabbing my own key card from the nightstand and walked away. Tomorrow night was all that was on my mind.

* * *

I'm at his door, looking at the normally ajar door and with a sigh I enter it, shutting and locking it behind me like I've always done. I see Evan laying there, his bare back to me. I shuck my clothes off and crawl into the bed with him only this time I run my fingers up his side, my hand stopping on his shoulder as my lips moved over the back of his neck.

He hisses, arching his back and reaching back for me. "Jack," he whimpers, his voice deep with lust and need.

I know what he wants but tonight he's not getting it. I'm not going to let him use me to use him. My lips move over his neck, down to his shoulders, my hand moving forward on his chest to pluck his nipples, making them hard under my gentle touch. My hand moves lover over his bare hip and as softly as I can I take him into my hand, stroking him tenderly.

He moans softly, scooting back farther into me, his hips grinding against mine. He needs me, wants me, craves me.

I nibble on his ear and climb on top of him, holding his hands above his head again. "I'm not letting you kick me out tonight," I say, nudging his knees apart and settling between them. "You don't think any of this can get personal but you're wrong Evan. We've been sneaking around for nearly a year. I haven't slept with anyone else in all that time and I know you haven't either. I know what you like and I'm tired of pretty much raping you every night we spend together and then walking back to my own room to sleep alone."

His dark eyes stared at me before filling with tears. "Don't do this Jack," he whimpered, his head turning to one side and letting out a shaky breath. "Please."

I didn't know what to think as the first tear rolled from his eye and over his nose before landing wetly on the pillow below him. "Evan, I'm tired of pretending that this doesn't mean anything," I whispered, letting his hands go and moving to the side, laying beside him. I let my fingers run through his tousled hair, down his soft cheek to his sturdy jaw before lightly fluttering over his neck. "Talk to me."

Evan turned so he was facing away from me his shoulders slumped forward. "Why are you doing this to me?" he asked, voice shaky.

I was shocked. "Ev?" I asked, moving closer, the cool room causing me to shiver. I rested a hand on his bare hip, my body flush against his. "What am I doing?"

"We had a deal. I didn't want anything that would make it anymore personal that it already was. I didn't want you to touch me other than the obvious. I didn't want anything that could lead to us starting to have feelings for each other. I just wanted you to have sex with me, that's all, why did you have to keep pushing me?" he asked, sobbing slightly, turning over and looking me straight in the eyes. "Why did you have to be so gentle with me, try to please me when you didn't have to? Why did you treat me like you cared?"

I was at a loss of words. "Dammit Evan," I whisper, holding him to my chest. I stroke his hair, the silent tears wetting my chest. I didn't want to say that I actually wanted to have a steady thing with him. I just wanted the sex but I didn't want it to be so quick and meaningless. I sighed, thinking over his words. I did care. In the beginning I didn't think of Evan except when I was on the way to his room but over the year we'd been sneaking around it slowly changed and I started to look forward to seeing him, then wanting to show him how good it could feel without being so rough.

"I don't want to see you anymore."

It was plain, stoic, and emotionless.

I nodded. "After tonight, you won't have to," I whisper, leaning down to press our lips together in another searing kiss. I groan, my hands moving over his exposed body, his arms wrapped around me. I take him into my hand gently and stroke his semi erect cock back to its full length and break our kiss. "I promise." I move down and take him into my mouth my eyes focused on his, this time they are closed, his back arched and head thrown back in pleasure.

His hands are in my hair. They tug gently, his moans filling the silent room, the pale moonlight illuminating his skin and I smile inwardly, thinking that once again we'd forgotten to close the curtains.

I work over his erection, sliding my tongue all over the bottom, tracing the vein and nibbling on the edges for Evan's pleasure. I want to smile with all the new noises he's putting out, ones I'd never heard from our previous sessions.

"Jack," he whimpered, hips jerking past my hands that were trying to hold them down. He arched up once more and suddenly with little warning other than a small-strangled moan my mouth is filled with Evan's seed.

I swallow it, unsure of what else to do and lick him clean, not minding the taste too much. I smile, kissing up his belly to his chest and take a nipple in my mouth. I love the sounds he's making. They're making me want him more and more and my cock is already throbbing with excitement. I ease a hand over his hardening cock and trace his puckered entrance.

He groans, hands clutching my shoulders. "Please, no," he murmured, my finger entering him with slight ease. "I prep myself before you come over."

I nod, pressing out lips together and pushing a second finger in to my second knuckle. "I'm just double checking," I whisper, pressing a light kiss to the tip of his nose, causing the slight blush on his cheeks to darken. I look over him, his face so beautiful. I suddenly know that no matter what we had planned for our deal was out the window and I just wanted Evan to myself, in my bed, making love to him.

Evan pulled my hand, causing my fingers to leave him. "Need you," he gasped, trying to turn over for me.

"No," I sternly say, flipping him back over so he's on his back. "I'm not letting our last night be like that." I spread his legs and position myself between them, my cock lined up with his hole. I spit on my hand, hoping the little lube will help, knowing that before it didn't matter. I rub my cock and start easing into Evan. He's so tight like always and his body hugs me so tightly it almost hurts.

His arms wrap around my neck and he pulls me close, his nails already digging into my back.

I wish I could say I minded but I didn't. His dull nails dragging across my back left burning lines and all I could do was hiss out in pleasure as I came to the hilt, Evan's body closer to mine than it ever had been. I gasped for air as I pulled out slowly before pushing back in just as softly.

Evan gasped out for breath, his back arching into my, his lips searching for mine. His arms held me close while we moved together that way for what seemed like hours.

I reached between us, taking him in my hand and stroking him. I was already close, but I didn't want to disappoint him and finish early. I groan, his teeth nibbling at my neck before he cried out and came between us, coating my hand.

He slumped back, spent completely. He smiled up at me, taking my lips in a soft kiss, his hands in my hair, pulling gently as his hips worked with mine to finish me.

I groan, taking his hip in my clean hand, moving harder and faster against him. I'm so close and right as I'm about to finish I do the worst thing imaginable. I call out, "Evan," in a deep groan, pushing all the way in as I let go and fill him. I gasp for breath, my face in the crook of Evan's neck as we lay there, both panting and completely unsure of where this had led us.

I could feel tears on my shoulder after a moment and I moved off of Evan and laid beside him. I brushed his tears away and pressed a kiss to his lips. "I'm sorry," I whisper, holding him to me and letting him doze off in my arms. I sigh, resting my head against his, the smell of his shampoo intoxicating. I wanted to get up but the sensation of sleep was too great and easily I was fast asleep with Evan in my arms.

Waking just a few hours later I could see the sun rising. I eased out of Evan's grip and pulled on my clothes. I covered him and kissed his forehead before leaving, knowing that I wouldn't see him again, not after last night, not after shattering our deal like that. I sigh as I leave his room and shut his door silently. "Evan," I whisper, leaning against his door for a moment before making the journey back to my own lonely cold bed.

* * *

I didn't see Evan until the next show a week later. I didn't dare go talk to him, not with the new man hanging off him. I only watched as they walked around the arena, chatting quietly, the other guys' hands all over Evan's ass. I kept my distance and that night in my hotel room was when I tried to stop thinking about him. I did everything I could think of. I took a hot shower, jerking off twice to rid myself of the lust building up. I laid in bed, reading, then watching tv, moving on to music, and finally letting myself jerk off once more. None of it helped. I could only think of Evan, how good he felt, how nice it would be to have him there with me. He was on my mind and that's all I could do was think of Evan. I hated it. I sighed, crawling under my sheets, knowing that tonight I wouldn't be sneaking down into Evan's room, after all he'd told me he never wanted to see me again but that didn't stop me from leaving my door slightly ajar if he decided to come up to me. I knew he wouldn't but deep down I hoped.

Hours later I felt someone crawl into my bed and rest their head between my shoulder blades and wrap and arm around my chest. Lips pressed themselves against my bare skin, making me shiver. I didn't want to ask if it was Evan, I was afraid that it wasn't. I tried to turn over but the other body wouldn't let me. I froze, unsure of who was in my bed.

The hand on my hip moved up, running lightly over one nipple, earning a gasp from my lips. Those soft lips moved up to my shoulder and over, turning me slowly over so I could see that it was in fact Evan that was touching me so gently. His eyes were closed, his hands moving over my chest so gently. His lips moved over my shoulder, covering ever bit of it before moving up to my neck.

I hissed out, my own hands coming to rest on his sides. I didn't want to ask why it was that he had snuck up to my room? Why was he being so gentle, breaking all the rules we'd set up? Why he was here when he didn't want to see me? Why was he naked? "Evan?" I asked, only earning a finger over my lips.

His naked hips ground into my boxer clad ones. His fingers ran over my chest so softly, his dark eyes focused on mine. "I need you, Jack," he whispered, leaning in and pressing a kiss to my lips.

I held one hip while my other hand cupped his cheek as we gently kissed each other. I didn't force anything on him and it was his tongue that ran across my lips for admittance into my mouth. I didn't deny him and let our tongues dance together in his mouth. I groaned, his hands holding my cheeks with care, hips still grinding together.

"Evan," I whisper, throwing all caution to the wind. I wasn't going to waste this night worrying about our broken deal. I feel his body stiffen before relaxing into my touch again. I try to turn him over so I can be on top of him but he keeps me firmly in place.

His nimble hands dispose of my boxers and he climbs on me again, his cheeks so flush and body shivering as he takes my erection in his hand. His eyes are locked with mine, his lips parted just slightly. "Jack," he whispers, causing my heart to jump. He eases down on me, once again a new position for us.

I growl, my hands gripping his hips a bit tightly. He's so tight. I take a hand in mine as the other presses against my chest to keep him steady. I try not to close my eyes, his dark ones sparkling in the moonlight. I smile, thinking of the curtains. He's so angelic. I move with his slowly, his own movements none to fast.

He sighs, moving up and down on me, leaning closer for a kiss before moving back to an upright position, his knees pressed close against my ribs. His head tilts back and he exhales heavily, moving my hand on his hip to his chest, wanting me to touch him.

I do just that, toying with his nipples while our hands are still laced. It's at that moment when he leaned over me that I could see the tears in his eyes and as the first one fell. I sat up, crossing my legs and holding Evan close to me. I love that his shorter than I am and his head fits perfectly in the crook of my neck. I keep moving with him, my free hand touching his erection gently, stroking it in time to our thrusts.

"Jack," he murmurs, breaking our hands and holding onto me, his arms wrapped around my neck. He groans lightly, the tears slowing before he bit down on my shoulder lightly to stifle his moans.

"Don't hold back Evan," I whisper, wrapping my other arm around his waist. I know I'm close, he has to be too. I stroke him a little faster, wanting to bring him to his climax. I kiss his exposed neck and I'm rewarded.

"Jack!" Evan moans, coating my hand in his seed. He stops, gasping for breath.

I let him rest there in my lap. I start to move a just a few minutes later pulling another gasp from his lips. I try not to be rough when I thrust up into him a few more times. I growl out his name, pushing deep into him as I cum. It's great. It's like there's something there between us that makes tonight much better than the rest, that we were meant to be doing this with each other.

Those tears seem to be stopping as I hold him, not moving from our current position. I stroke his long smooth back and hold him close like a real lover would. I whisper little things to calm him, earning little gasps of air that calmed him.

Evan finally lifted his head and while his eyes were red and just slightly puffy he kissed me. His legs wrapped around my waist and he hugged me tighter. After a few more moments he pulled away from me and completely moved away to the other side of the bed.

I sat there, looking over his beautiful body. His skin glistening in the pale moonlight, making him look even more angelic than he was already. "Evan?" I asked, offering my hand for him to come back and sit by me. "You said you never wanted to see me again."

"I lied."

It was sad and so full of emotion and he didn't reach out for me as he looked down at the bed.

"I asked you to do this for me because we barely knew the other. It was great in theory so we could have sex and we wouldn't start to have feelings for each other," he explained, covering his chest with his arms. "As perfect as it was it was broken a long time ago."

I'm in shock. "Evan," I whisper, moving closer to him, taking him into my arms. "I'm sorry for all this." My heart was racing in my chest and I wasn't sure that Evan was trying to tell me.

"It's not your fault Jack. I never thought you would try to be so gentle with me and that made me want you more. I'm the one that started to develop feelings for you. That's why I always told you that something wasn't part of our deal and pushed you away," he said softer.

I smiled, knowing for once that I wasn't the only one that had been pushing themselves to stay in the agreement. I try not to talk as he goes on.

"I was thinking last week when we fell asleep and I woke up by myself that I had messed up. I let it get so far that I couldn't stop thinking of you. I let everything get to me. You were right, I haven't slept with anyone else but you since this started and I don't want to sleep with anyone else. I don't love you Jack, but I know this kind of feeling isn't just for sex. I want to get to know you," he explained hurriedly, the tears starting to fall.

I wipe his tears away with a soft smile and press a kiss to his lips. "You're not the only one that feels this way Evan. I've wanted it too," I say, brushing a lock of his hair back off of his sweaty forehead. "I want to have a relationship with you."

Evan smiled, giving a watery smile. "I should get going. It's late, I'm sure you want to get to sleep," he murmured, getting off of the bed and grabbing for his discarded clothes.

"Evan," I whisper, "you can stay here in bed with me." I smiled and hold out my hand for him.

He takes it and crawls back onto the bed with me, a blush on his cheeks.

I smile I lean against the pillows and let him rest his head on my chest.

"You should clean up," he tells me, looking up at my lax face.

"You can do it in the morning," I say, earning a slightly confused look. "You're gonna join me in the shower aren't you?"

Evan only smiled, shaking his head before falling asleep, a hand pressed on my heart.

I only could smile. I had all I wanted right there in the bed with me. I looked out the window to see the sun starting to rise and looked down at Evan's peacefully sleeping face. With a content sigh I held him tighter and drifted off, we could talk more about it later.

* * *

(A/N): So this was a product of writers block. I was trying to get my mind off my other fics because I would try and work on them, get frustrated because of writers block, and then close them. So I'm sorry that I haven't updated in a while. I just haven't really had the energy to write. Anyway, I hope that you liked this little side project with Evan and Swagger. They are pretty much one of my all time favorite pairings at the moment. This is also probably the only fic I will do in 1st person. I actually hate writing like this because I find it very difficult but I was trying something new for a while. So to the fic its self. I tried writing this from Evan's POV but it didn't make as much sense with the title so I figured it would make more sense if I did it from Jack's POV, after all Evan is using Jack to use him so says the title. So I hope you liked this little bit of randomness and my looong A/N. Off to work on my other stuff now!! Song title is Use Me To Use You by Trapt!

JacktheSinister_JaketheJust


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